FILM AND THEATRE REVIEW

So my gift to myself, upon completing my studies, was to go see The Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers. Actually, it was a gift from my boyfriend, because he paid my share of the $27.00 it takes to get two people into a theatre these days, and I've forgotten to pay him back.

Mike and I went to see the first Lord of the Rings movie last year, motivated by little more than the ability to be conversant about it at social gatherings. I was completely sucked in by it; he wasn't, so much. But I daresay it was easier for me: I love Ian Holm and Cate Blanchett, and I have the same lovely soft spot for Ian McKellen that I do for Charlie Watts (it's easy to see why!).

I enjoyed The Two Towers less, but I'm not eager to blame that on the film itself. Every time there was a close-up shot of Orlando Bloom looking serious (often), or gallant riders on gallant horses galloping in the green distance (often), Mike would lean over to me and whisper "poncy", but I'm sure there was a good story to be told, and that Peter Jackson told it well. Look back up at the $27.00 figure I mentioned earlier, and then meditate on this: I went to the famous Silver City Theatre in West Edmonton Mall and paid (well, Mike paid) twenty-seven dollars, and by the time this movie was over, I could barely move my neck, it was in so much pain. Let me explain.

This was the first Friday that The Two Towers was onscreen, so naturally the theatres were packed. Mike and I decided to go to one of two shows playing at 11:30 pm and, having bought the tickets in advance, showed up fifteen minutes early. Now, any of you who have been to one of these massive-screen theatres will know how it's laid out: the seats ascend towards the back, and the first quarter of them are ridiculously close to the screen. The patron is not looking remotely straight ahead to see the film, but rather up, particularly if the patron in question (me) is only five feet tall. Of course we had to sit in that quarter, because the theatre was packed, and no one likes those seats.

I would much rather take my $27.00 to South Edmonton Common, a newer theatre that has almost exactly the same layout as Silver City, but its seats recline slightly, so you can position your neck however it's comfortable, and that full quarter of their seats doesn't go wasted by people who are extremely reluctant to sit there. So three cheers for Cineplex Odeon.

I'm determined to see The Two Towers again, and equally determined not to pay Silver City to do it. Ponces.